The wait for help shouldn’t mean facing it alone.

You do not have to wait silently until the planned appointment.

Do these first

• Contact the service holding your referral and say clearly that your symptoms have worsened.
• Ask how they review urgency, whether you can be reassessed, and what interim support is available.
• Tell your GP what has changed, including sleep, eating, self-care, work, substance use, self-harm or thoughts of suicide.
• Write down who you spoke to and what happens next.

Get help sooner: If you need urgent mental-health help, use NHS 111 online or call 111 and select the mental-health option. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.

A rejected or redirected referral does not mean that you do not deserve support.

Ask for clarity

• Ask why the referral was declined and request the reason in writing.
• Ask which service they believe is more suitable and exactly how you access it.
• Take the response to your GP and ask for a new plan rather than simply another wait.
• If information was missing or your situation has changed, ask whether the referral can be reconsidered.

If you feel the process was not handled properly, ask the service for its complaints or patient advice route. In England, local Healthwatch can also explain how to raise a concern.

• Check that the service still has the correct phone number, email and address for you.
• Ask whether you are waiting for an assessment or for treatment; these may be separate lists.
• Ask for your current status, an updated estimate, and how often you should check in.
• Ask about cancellations, groups, workshops, guided self-help or another appointment format.

Keep your GP updated if the delay is affecting your ability to function or your symptoms are changing.

Contact the service as soon as you can. Do not assume you have automatically lost your place.

• Say what you missed, when it happened and how they can best reach you.
• Ask whether the appointment can be rearranged and whether your referral is still open.
• If calls are difficult, ask whether text, email, an interpreter or another reasonable adjustment is available.
• Put the new details somewhere visible and tell one trusted person if reminders help.

You can read from a note or hand it to the person. Start with impact, not a perfect explanation.

A simple script

“This has been happening for ____. It affects my sleep / eating / work / relationships / safety by ____. The hardest part is ____. Since my referral, it has become ____. I need help with ____.”

• Include medicines, physical conditions and anything you use to cope.
• Put your most important point first in case time is short.
• Say if there is something you are frightened or embarrassed to mention.

Choose the smallest useful disclosure. You can explain what is difficult without giving every personal detail.

• Write down the tasks or situations you are struggling with and what change would help.
• Ask about temporary adjustments: clearer priorities, quieter space, flexible breaks, altered hours, extensions or a named contact.
• Speak to your GP if you need medical advice about work, a fit note, or how your health is affecting daily function.
• At college or university, contact student support or disability services; support may be available before diagnosis.

Do not stop or change prescribed medication suddenly unless a qualified clinician tells you to, except when emergency instructions specifically say otherwise.

• Note the medicine, dose, when you take it, when the problem began and what the symptom is.
• Contact your prescriber, GP or pharmacist for advice; ask what needs urgent review.
• Read the patient information leaflet and use NHS medicine information rather than relying on social posts.
• For a suspected severe allergic reaction, overdose or immediate danger, use emergency help.

If you have thoughts of harming yourself after starting or changing medication, seek urgent help now rather than waiting for a routine review.

Make the plan before the worst part of the night if you can.

• Save 111, Samaritans (116 123) and one trusted person in your favourites.
• Move away from anything you might use to hurt yourself, or ask someone else to hold it.
• Choose a lower-pressure place: a lit room, somewhere shared, or near another person.
• Focus on getting through the next ten minutes, then repeat—not solving tomorrow tonight.

If you cannot keep yourself or someone else safe, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent mental-health support, call 111 and select the mental-health option.

Caring about someone does not make you their entire care system.

• Be honest about what you can do: “I can talk for twenty minutes” is more sustainable than being available all night.
• Help them build a wider list: GP, service, crisis contacts, family, friends and specialist charities.
• Do not agree to keep an immediate safety risk secret.
• Make space for your own sleep, food, appointments and support. Carers UK and local carers’ services may help.

• Check whether you can self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies in your area.
• Search Hub of Hope, local Mind services, community centres and condition-specific charities.
• Ask employers, unions, colleges or universities about counselling or assistance programmes.
• If considering low-cost therapy, ask about fees, qualifications, confidentiality, waiting time and what happens if your needs are outside the service’s scope.

Free listening lines are valid support, even when your situation is not an emergency.